First Act: So, she asks me, and of course I'm color blind, and I say it's a 'beautiful' dress.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, beautiful is one of those cutesy little words I've learned, that forestall my getting into trouble with the "girley girls", yeah, I learned that too!
So, the 29th is coming close and all I have to do is show up in a suit.
Her dress is coral and she needs purse and shoes to match, of course, and she picks out some polished satins to be dyed.
She hands me a pink shirt, which she says is "coral" and tie to match and says those will go well with your blue suit, so leave the shirt out and I'll iron it.
A friggin' pink shirt for chrissake!
Second Act: She arrives at the florist who is there with her supplier and they both look at Penelope and exclaim in horror, "Those shoes aren't coral, they're watermelon pink!"
Bingo, dammit, you did it now, the waterworks start, the wrinkled voice utters, "You can upset a 21 year old bride, but don't upset a 61 year old bride, I'm lucky to find a man!"
This upheaval traipses all the way back home to me, where the water starts again and I say, "OK, take it easy, all you have to do is pick out another pair of shoes and bag and have them dyed, and this time get those dull satin ones that Peau du Soie thing!", yeah, learned that too.
Ah yes! Score! King for a Day! Just the right words, and there will be peace among men, for when Penelope is happy, the whole world is happy, shit, getting' married ain't what it used to be!
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